The Secret Life of Cows – Part 1 – MOTHERHOOD
Motherhood is a difficult job for anyone and just as much for a cow, right from the start!
It’s a home birth for every cow – alone in a private part of the paddock. When her baby pops out there’s no cooing as he’s placed on her chest to bond. She has to jump straight up and lick him clean herself, welcoming her newborn to the world with loving murmurs of “mm..mm..mm…” as she nudges and nuzzles him warm and dry. Recognising Mum’s voice the calf teeters to his feet, then totters tentatively towards Mum, looking for that teat for his first drink of lifegiving mother’s milk.
However, the mother is often too enthralled with the wonder of her newborn to look away and stand still for him and so begins the dance of love: ungainly calf following instinct as it stumbles on brand new legs towards the udder, while mum, flooded with maternal love, turns round and round to keep her eyes fixed on him. They dance ever closer until finally, instinct wins out and he drinks!
It’s legendary how all mothers will go in hard to bat for their kids. This aggressive-protector instinct is given birth along with the newborn. Cows, however, have to take it to a whole new level, as the mother has to eat her afterbirth (which is after all a big task for a grazing animal), to ensure no predator comes looking for her precious newborn. And only then, can the two of them cuddle up against each other for a loved-up snooze, often with Mum’s head draped protectively over baby’s silky soft body.
When cows show off their new calf, it’s not quite the same as a royal photo shoot showing the world the new addition to the family. This is a much noisier, in-your-face type affair. After a few days of bonding, the proud mother is ready to introduce her new calf to the rest of the herd. She bellows loudly to her friends, whilst reassuring her calf with gentle ‘mm..mm..mms”, as his aunties rush as a group with pounding hoofs to sniff and nudge him, gently welcoming him into the herd. This sniffing is his naming ceremony, so they’ll always recognise him in future. After this public outpouring of love and acceptance, Mum reclaims her calf and leads him off in close tow for a quiet cuddle.
Cows soon enrol their calves in the Community Kindy. We all know what mischief young kids can get up to unattended and calves are no exception. Most of the time you’ll only see dark ‘lumps’ against the green of the grass as they sleep most of the day. But these bundles of fluff soon want to do what all young kids do – explore and play. Mum cows need to go out to work though, to make sure they graze enough to feed two to support their family but cows have an ingenious way of coping – it’s called Day Care for Calves! Each day one cow mother is rostered on for kindy duty where she has to stay back and keep an eye on the group of youngsters. ‘Day Care for Calves’ seems to work well, but when it’s mealtime every mother knows the sound of her own calf’s hungry bellow and responds quickly.
Unlike humans who agonise over parenting skills and contemporary parenting styles, training their young into good routines seems to come naturally to cows. There’s no need for nappies or toilet training. There’s no “Come here right now!” or “I’ve told you a hundred times to brush your teeth and wash your face!” Cows seem to have it down pat right from the start. Her calf will trot obediently behind Mum without a sound being uttered. He stands still and even seems to enjoy the morning face wash as Mum licks the milkshake moustache from his face before giving him a general once-over lickathon – even giving his ears a thorough clean without any argument!
As youngsters grow and need to find their place in the group, Mums have to teach independence and assertiveness. A cow does this by teaching her calf the intricate art of headbutting, guaranteed to sort out all kinds of disagreements in the future. The little calf trustingly pushes its tiny head against Mum’s huge head, eye-to-eye, before Mum lets her little midget push her one tonne weight slowly backwards – a real lesson in love, trust and responsible parenting.
So, now that you know their secrets, the next time you drive through the countryside past a paddock of cows, look for the little sleeping lumps in the grass and note where the kindergarten are meeting for the day.
And, if someone were ever to call you a cow – thank them and wear it as a badge of honour, because they don’t know what you know about the secret life of cows!